For years I worked with adolescents and their families, helping them learn how to understand each other in a way that would make everyone feel validated and life improved. To me the rules for this seemed simple enough. That was of course, until I had my own family!
Learning how to navigate the tricky waters of being a parent, a partner, AND take care of yourself can be difficult. So how do we do this? How do you empower your children without feeling like you are powerless? The consequences of military style discipline without regard to individual feelings and personality have filled our therapy offices as well as the opposite- over indulgent fearful parenting styles with too much freedom leading to entitlement and lack of responsibility. So where is the balance? And how do we create that? How do we have a happy family?
The answer is- to keep trying.
I really enjoyed this TED talk addressing just that. How to be ever flexible in your family. How to keep trying, how to give your children voice, while still remaining in the parental role.
(On a side note, I also find it a bit humorous that he makes a crack at us therapists and “shrinks”- because ironically, the “agile” programming he speaks of is pretty interchangeable with the stuff we’re talking about too!)
Enjoy and let me know what you think!